I'm not even sure how I will go about writing this entry. Straight forward, I guess, but this really hurts. I feel totally helpless right now.
I was so jazzed this morning after Barbara said we could adopt Sammy. I thought the day could only get better after that. I was really wrong.
I was online at work when my oldest son Robert popped on the instant messenger and asked if I was on. I say yes I was and hello. He lives in North Carolina and I haven't seen him for about 10 years. As many of you know, he is the child of my teens whom I gave for adoption at birth. 24 years ago, he found me and rounded out my life. He has brought me many times of joy. Today he brought me only sadness.
A few years ago, he had a tumor removed from his breast. It was cancer, but the lumpectomy apparently got it all. Earlier this year, he found another lump. Bravely, he said to me, "This time they better just do the radical and get it over with." Today he told me the biopsy is malignant and the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and to the pertoneal cavity. He's 40 years old! He's a man! He has breast cancer.
I am immeasurably sad. I know. He's not really my son. Another woman has had the privilege to raise him and love him. But he is my flesh and blood and I loved him enough to give him away and have been privileged enough to know him as a youth and adult. He was always my son. I'll always be his mom.
His life may well be cut very short by this cancer. He has to have drastic surgery, chemo and radiation and he needs to have it a.s.a.p. Will it be enough to give him a chance to see his baby daughter (she's 6 now) graduate? Only God knows and he's not telling right now. My son has a feeling that this is it.
Even sadder for me is his lack of faith. I know that faith can move mountains. I've experienced the joy of faith and have seen the miracles that faith has wrought. He says he wants to have faith, he tries, but it just doesn't work. I said I'd loan him some of mine. My Father in heaven has promised that he will brig my whole household to Him. I will be praying that my son finds that faith. I'm already praying for healing and strength.
It's just not fair, you know. Parents are not supposed to outlive their children. My friends, please pray for my son Robert and his family as he goes through this ordeal.
14 comments:
Greetings. I am so sorry about your sons cancer. I will keep you, your son and his family in my prayers. There are no words that come to mind that will ease your pain, I wish there were. Please know that you are not alone.
God Bless,
TiasNme2
Oh, Penny... I am so sorry to hear this. You, your son, and his family will be in my prayers. Just a thought .... faith comes to us at the most unexpected times, and in ways we would never have dreamed. My grown son has seen more than his share of troubles in the last few years, and at this point he, too, just doesn't 'feel it'. But..... We Moms are pretty powerful tools of the One who put us here. I know that with our love and support, both of our sons will come around. I have faith in that ! Bless you, Penny ...... Tina
I am praying for Robert. I am also praying for his faith. Please IM me when you want to talk.
Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
So sorry to read this Penny. They can do great things with treatment these days and you know you will have the prayers of many of us here in J-Land. I shall certainly pray for Robert. God bless you all.
OOO MY FRIEND I WILL BE PRAYING AS HARD AS I CAN FOR YOUR SON....AND LIKE U HAVE TOLD ME MANY TIMES GOD DOES MOVE MOUNTAINS
I'm so sorry... but it isn't over until it's over. I'm saying a prayer for him.
Penny, words cant express my sadness. Robert is in my prayers....and you can pray.....prayers do work miracles. Doctors can do amazing things nowadays even when they think hope is lost. I am so glad you have known this special man and he CAN survive. I love you. You are in my thoughts and i am here if you need me. Lisa Jo
I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine what your family must be going through. You are all in my thoughts. Keep the faith and believe. ((big hugs)) ~ Lori
Am sending email Penny, I cannot put the words I want to say on here.
Sylvia xxx
I am so sorry to hear the news about your son.
Only in the past few years have I heard about men getting breast cancer. I think it is something that is highly overlooked. I am praying that all the treatment he gets will take care of the cancer for good.
Kathy
I am so sorry to hear your devastating news. I hope and pray all will be well for your son, and son he is. Your faith is strong and I can only think that will help both of you. (((((())))))
Sandra xxxxx
You are in our thoughts..... I, too, live in NC, but what hit me is that a man can get breast cancer!! Ignorance and advertising, but I will certainly be more watchful of the men in my life in this regard!! Penny
Penny, my mother had faith that could move mountains. You sound as if you have that same sureness of belief. I understand Roberts feelings of vacillation. I had them myself at times, but my mother's faith was so strong that she carried me in her pocket so I could see the wonder work. You will be able to do that for Robert. You sound as if you already have. He will be in my prayers! Pennie
I am so sorry to hear about Robert! I know that your faith and that of those around you can make this ordeal easier. Know that he is in our thought's and prayers. <<<HUGS>>>
~Miss O
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