Saturday, May 13, 2006

"Barbs"

                

It's a pretty little scene in my welcome tag, don't you think?  Did you take a good look at the fence?  It has little barbs on it.  Those barbs are like certain times in our life.

Today I'm feeling a little down.  Mother's Day is tomorrow.  I am pleased that my husband and girls are going to make a fuss over it but at the same time I have a sadness in my heart.  I miss my mom.  I'd give anything for her to see the life we have now, my new family and the menagerie.

Holidays are a tough time for many of us.  Maybe something awful happened on a particular holiday or we miss someone so much it hurts.  Perhaps our mothers or fathers weren't kind, were drunks, abusive or addicts.  Perhaps someone we trusted hurt us on or around a given holiday.  These are the barbs in our lives.  It's not easy to let these things go, but we can.

The Lord says in (Mat 11:28) Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

I don't think he's talking about the burdens of our workday here, but the burdens of our lives.  We carry resentment, anger and bitterness as if it were our cross.  I know I have done so.  I had such hatred for a person at one time, the best I could do was wish him dead.  I carried that around for 7 years.  Each time I would hear his name, I would feel sick and get angry all over again.  It was miserable for me.  Of course, he didn't care.  He didn't even know how I felt.

One day, while working with another woman on a problem she had been carrying around, I heard words come out of her mouth that opened my eyes.  She was deeply harmed by someone she once loved.  She had forgiven that person.  HOW?  I dared ask.  "Well," she said, "I did nothing wrong here.  Why should I allow him to hurt me over and over again?"  I felt like I had been run over by a steam roller! 

Later that evening, I crawled into my husband's arms and prayed.  I cried until I was as limp as a wet noodle.  The Lord had the answer all the time and I was ignoring it.  I let that hurt go, for giving the man who had caused it.  I was as free as I could have been.

It's harder for us to let our grief and sadness go.  We may feel guilty for enjoying ourselves when we should be sad.  Know this:  the Lord doesn't want us to be sad.  He knows we will be from time to time, but he wants us to know His joy in the midst of our sadness.  I know that we can.  I've experienced that joy in times of my greatest grief.

This day, I will be praying for those of you (and myself) who are troubled by the holiday.  With His blessing upon us, I believe we can all enjoy the day tomorrow.

Love, hugs and blessings,  Penny

             

 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mother's Days are hard when our own mothers have gone, but I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day with your own family.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

Anonymous said...

A lovely entry Penny, wise words indeed.  Have a very happy Mother`s day. :o)

Sandra xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Mother's Day is a bit tough for me, too.  I hope you do enjoy the weekend though.           Pamela

Anonymous said...

Happy Moms day. Sorry your missing your mama, you'll be with her again  sweetie

Hugs
angelrose

Anonymous said...

Have a lovely Mothers Day Penny. Jeannette xx

Anonymous said...

Have a Happy Moms Day:)

Deb

Anonymous said...

Penny, your thoughts about forgiveness of someone who has hurt you is so appropriate. I think there are many people who are resentful of their parents for many reasons, or of another older relative who either said something hurtful to them when they were children, or did something hurtful. It's really sad that when days like Mother's Day or Father's Day rolls around, some folks still feel the sting of the wound. It is hard to know how to let go, but it's easier to do with God's love. Thank you for reminding us not to waste another moment in our lives, not to miss another opportunity to  share our love, and not our anger. Happy Mother's Day to you! Bea

Anonymous said...

nice one Penny! Happy Mothers Day!
hugs,nat

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is profound. You are doing good work you know. Teaching nuts like me....and i mean this when i say you mean the world to me. You are so wise, so loving and so kind. This whole entry could be talking to me because i carry around all of those negative feelings inside of me. Rick tells me every week "lisa, dont hold a grudge because it will kill you young and the other person is winning in the end".
Love you so, and i pray your Mothers Day is a good one!
XO lisa jo

Anonymous said...

Penny, I'm right with you on that slightly guilty feeling, thinking somehow you should feel sadness for one who is no longer in our sight, while experiencing all the incredible joy motherhood brings.  I have that same conflict, being a mom and grandmom, but "losing" my mother, yet I know she's certainly not lost, only physically to me and in my life.  I will never see her again.  Yet I must turn this around, so as to be happy that she's comforted in the warmth and love of God's embrace, where she truly belongs and where I one day hope to join her.  If she were standing here before me, and asked where I thought she should go, my heart would silently cry out, "Stay!" while my deeper, more unselfish heart would know she belongs to God now, and what could be more wonderful?  Why such sadness?  She is gazing upon the face of Our Lord!  And though I can't see her, for all this I am grateful.  All our mothers no longer before our eyes deserve the Kingdom of God, and as hard as it is, we should be singing for their eternal joy.  Bless you, Penny, and have a most wonderful Mother's Day!  Cathy  http://journals.aol.com/luddie343/DARETOTHINK/  

Anonymous said...

I pray all you feel today is warmth, love and contentment.  -  Barbara

Anonymous said...

Those little barbs do sometimes get to us!  This is a beautiful post Penny.  I too miss my mother terribly, but I was happy all weekend that my sister was able to spend the weekend with us, and that we had each other for sharing memories of our mother.